Captain Mal Explains

And Mal said........

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..................Leia in Slave Girl Outfit!!!!!!!!!

Hi Bloggers........um........i'm going to stop calling you bloggers now, it just sounds so f*#king weird.  It sounds like i'm referring to you as some kind of athletic excreter's.  It would be cool though if blogging ended up becoming an Olympic sport; bogging while jogging, could be the promotional campaign - 'Hi Australia, this Olympic season how about you support our Bloggers by buying a new t-shirt with 'Blogging while Jogging is my bag, baby' on the front and a picture of a turd coming out of one of our Olympic Bloggers on the back.  You can choose between a picture of Barry Humphrey's or our Prime Minister (sorry, I forgot her name already), anyway as you all know, Blogging is the future of sport and it all started here.  Blogging started back in the 70's while farmers would have to take a sh!t while being chased by Kangaroos who were so keen to f*#k them in the @ss.  As soon as the farmer would take a bog on the run, he would go faster.  Of course the Kangaroo would still catch them, but after the unfortunate @ss plunging the farmer would at least have a ride home.  (because this of course correctly depicts the nature of our wildlife).  So, get into blogging today and avoid Kangaroo rape!

Wow, where did that come from, anyway Princess Leia; who the f*#k in this world has not fantasized about this smokin' hot She-God.  In the 80's every boy, teenager and man was suddenly overcome with a purpose in life; to have sex with Princess Leia in that outfit or with someone dressed up in that outfit or to purchase a life size doll of leia in that outfit.  And come on ladies, you can't tell me that if you were a Lesbian (or is it same s#x admirer, whatever, as long as I don't call you dykes i guess) you can't tell me that you wouldn't like to tie her up and pretend to be Jabba the Hut even just as an 'experiment'.  The woman is hot, she's so hot that she transcends time and space and a f*#k load of dreams.  I actually predict that after seeing this picture that there are going to be a lot of wet socks lying around under beds and in hampers today.  I don't blame you, I actually have a song about this wonderful creature that I just might even share with you.  So sit back, relax and pretend that someone like 'Flamingo Stu' is singing this to you - oh, wait, you don't know Flamingo Stu...........hmmm, well perhaps one day you will and you will understand why this song sounds better when he is singing it.

Now here it is; a song about how much I love Princess Leia.............and want to kidnap her!!!!!!  I think I need a shrink?!

I want to go back in time to the Blue Harvest set

By the time I was ten and not much more

I’d watched star wars 100 time or was it 104

Princess Leia wasn’t my favorite way back then

But what did my hormones know, I was only ten

But in a few years time…suddenly

I thought Carrie Fisher was my destiny

How could I get her to notice me

And will she ever know she’s the woman of my dreams

Chorus

‘I want to go back in time to the Blue Harvest set

And steal the jetpack off of Boba Fett

And hope Leia is wearing her metal bikini that day

And I’d grab hold of her and just fly away’

Carrie you are just a vision in gold

I want you to be my woman until we are old

Please believe me when I say, I’m your biggest fan

So how ‘bout we get it on as much as we can

Princess Leia I wan’t to be your Han

I know I could get the rebels those death star plans

Anyway Harrison’s in love with Ally McBeal

My god your body is just so frickin’ unreal

Chorus

‘I want to go back in time to the Blue Harvest set

And steal the jetpack off of Boba Fett

And hope Leia is wearing her metal bikini that day

And I’d grab hold of her and just fly away’

But seriously Carrie will you come with me

And you can live your life in that metal bikini

I know that to ask this is very bold

But with you in my arms you will never be cold

Alarm clock ringing, and no more dreams

About Carrie in my arms wearin’ that metal bikini

It just ain’t fair and it is plain to see

That I’ll never get to hold Slave Girl Carrie

 ‘I want to go back in time to the Blue Harvest set

And steal the jetpack off of Boba Fett

And hope Leia is wearing her metal bikini that day

And I’d grab hold of her…I’d grab hold of her..by God I would grab hold of her… and just fly away’

P.S. it works better if you sing along; Good night Leia lovers and sweat dreams......................oh and if anyone knows where to bet a Leia Peek a boo pen, let me know.