Captain Mal Explains

And Mal said..........

Josephine and Clarence fell in love!

They had a love that would out last any other!

Their love was unbreakable, immortal and beautiful!

Josephine and Clarence were also cousins!!

After Josephine's Father and his brother, Clarence's Father decided that their children would be wed in their eighteenth year and this celebration was had amongst all of the family. Friends, work mates, ex-lovers, bowling partners & live-in slave swere all invited as well, but it seemed that after all of the invites were written Josephine realised that everyone at the wedding would be a relation of some sort or another, except for Father Gregory and his guest. "Ha, imagine that."  She said as if it  were just a funny coincidence.  Clarence came home from the store with the sex aids and asked how the wedding plans were going.

"Well Clarence, I just can't seem to find a seat for Aunty Bethany.  Since she has had sex with everyone who will be at the wedding over 15 I thought of putting her next to Father Gregory since he is not allowed to be tempted, but then I thought of how Bethany just loves to drop cutlery and then offer fellatio under the table that I think maybe between her sisters would be better.  She is probably not as keen to stoop them at the wedding."

"Good idea darling, however I'm pretty sure Father Gregory is married."

"Oh, well that makes a big difference, I'll put Aunty Bethany next to him and his wife.  Keep it in the family hey."

"Absolutely dear. Now, I have my Pantaloons on so let's go and put these napkin rings and the fish scaler to good use."

Nine Months later Frederick was born.

Josephine then went to America on a backpacking journey by herself for ten months

And Nineteen months after that Yusef  and Yergen were born

and then Erika and Babette ten months after that.

Josephine and Clarence were very happy until some years later when Frederick was a teenager, Guns n Roses came to Happy Valley.  Josephine did not want anything to do with the concert, but Frederick was very excited because he loved Axel Rose. Clarence could not see the issue so he allowed Frederick to go as long as Josephine and he could accompany him.  Frederick could not think of anything more appropriate then taking his parents to a rock concert.

During Mr. Brownstone Frederick got caught in the Mosh Pit and was hit very hard in the nuts by some bald sweaty dude.  Josephine and Clarence lost him and were very afraid for him.  But then the concert stopped and Axel Rose called out into the audience.  "We have a boy in the back who has been hit in the head and says his Mum and Dad are here.  If you are here could you come on back and get him?"

The audience were ropeable but Axel then just told them all to shut the F*#k up.  Then he said Clarence and Josephine (especially Josephine). "Well f*#k me up a wall and down a slippery slide, Josephine."

Clarence was shocked that this long haired man new her.  "You never told me you knew Akmal Rose."

"It's Axel darling and yes I met him while I was backpacking all those years ago.  Hello Axel is my boy allright?"

"F*#k!  He's yourboy, he looks just like Axel jnr."

"Um, this is my husband Clarence."  Josephine tried to change the subject but Axel was not having it.  "Hey Clarence, I suppose you're both here to meet Axel jnr!"

"Pardon." Clarence said in confusion.

"Josephine and my son Axel jnr."

Clarence passed out and fell on a hypodermic needle that went right into his brain.  Two dayslater he woke up in hospital with his six children staring at him.

"Hello Frederick, Yusef, Yergen, Erika and Babette and........um...........who the f*#k are you?"  Clarence said to a boy who looked like the rocker Axel Rose, but also looked a lot like the rest of his kids.

"I'm Axel and I'm kind of your son!"  Then Josephine walked in.  Oh good you've met."

Clarence then turned to his wife and with the most calmly pronounced words he said. "Josephine, we agreed to be married and love each other and trust each other and now it seems that you've gone and f*#ked some rocker dude, had a child with him and then abandoned that child to live with this Axel man to tour around and live in a rock world and now you expect me to just accept him into our family.  Do you even realise what the rest of the family will think when they find out that you had a baby with someone outside of the family; they will be shocked and appalled."

Josephine just asked the children to take it outside and then she proceeded to mount her husband with all of the gusto that she used when pounding that rocker all those years ago. As they had violent and dangerous s#x, Clarence went into a state of acceptance and found himself with 'who the f*#k cares' it is.  So what if his wife had another child to love with a rocker.  He was married to this s#x fiend and it made him the man he is today. "Let's get a portrait done of our new family Josephine."  Clarence said as he impregnated his wife once more.  "And then let's invite Father Gregory, his wife and Aunty Bethany around for a party; I think we deserve it."

Josephine had a baby girl nine months later and named it Slash.  Of course it is only a guess, but Josephine knows that her husband was horribly infected by the needle in his brain and the doctors said he will never produce sperm again.  So Slash and Axel started a band up quite a few years later and their first song was 'Incest is ok, but I'm glad I've never stooped Aunt Bethany.'

It's catchy and the Banjo really gives it a nice Deliverance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!