Captain Mal Explains

And Mal Said.....................

Hello Bloggers, Obviously this photo has been doctored!  I have personally never seen a cow swim with a dolphin, well, not so close to a human boat before anyway.  It is just unheard of!!  All I have heard though, are rumors and bedtime stories about the mythical beasts of the Bovine world that travel the oceans in search of a powerful source of energy that will once and for all rid them of their human oppressors.  Plus they like to have sex with dolphins; but that just doesn’t even need to be said, everybody knows that!!  This specific photoI know is Brakyliostrum, but since that is such a mouth full how about we just call him T-Bone.  T-Bone is the ruler of all Bovine and has eluded the humans for centuries; alright maybe not centuries, but let’s just say that sheis f*#king good at eluding us.  Interpol has a special Bovine branch setup to exclusively track down members of T-Bones organization ‘Bovine Organisation Of Bloodshed Stoppers’ or ‘Boobs’.  So T-Bone and his B.O.O.B.S have reportedly found a map with the help of the Dolphins Underground Squad called ‘Dolphins In Constant Knowledge’ or ‘D.I.C.K.’.  So when you get a D.I.C.K member in the middle of B.O.O.B.S. you get a whole lot of positive friction.  D.I.C.K & B.O.O.B.S go together like Surf N’Turf. It was just meant to be!  So T-Bone and his D.I.C.K. bodyguard Finlay(which is actually exactly what T-Bone did as soon as the mission was over), were headed to an underground cavern on the outskirts of the Caribbean Islands. Apparently though it was guarded by two ginormous Octopi who just so happened to belong to the evil organization ‘Happy Excited Members Of

Really Really Horrible Octopi Incorporated Dirty Suckers’ or ‘HEMORRHOIDS’.  So to beat the HEMORRHOIDS and get into the tight entrance behind them or more commonly known as the ‘Arched Nautical Access Lair’ or ‘A.N.A.L’ Canal, T-Bone and Finlay had to draw upon their vast knowledge of Octopi warfare and their copy of Sun Tzu’s ‘Art of War’ to defeat the HEMORRHOIDS.  The HEMORRHOIDS crumbled under the exhausting pressure of the D.I.C.K members assault and even though T-Bone wanted to go into the A.N.A.L canal to retrieve the prize, Finlay knew that only a D.I.C.K member could squeeze in successfully.  Before Finlay entered, he looked at T-Bone and said with a glint in his eye. “How about you just hang around here and look pretty until I come!!”

T-Bone was worried as Finlay took so long and it even took him a few tries before he could even squeeze through the opening, but he did it and finally he came back with another map.  T-Bone felt disappointed.  “Will this be our life Finlay, side by side always coming here and there just to find another clue that sends us to another clue?”

“Well my dear leader ofthe B.O.O.B.S if that is our fate then there is nowhere I would rather be then to be a D.I.C.K member smack bang in the middle of the B.O.O.B.S; I can’t see a better place for me.  Of course that is until we find the ‘Vital Arena Ground Intrinsic Natural Access’ that is the home of the powerful source of energy that will free us all.”

“Yes dear Finlay, I suppose we can dream.”

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