Captain Mal Explains

And Mal Said.....................

Yorgan was happy man!  Yorgan loved boats!  Yorgan loved playing the harp!  Yorgan loved his Mother, was adored by women and admired by men.

Yorgan also had a massively long penis. Yorgan is also the name for a hand made quilt! Most of these facts however have inconsistently got little to do with the story I am about to bestow upon you.

Yorgan the motor repair man or more commonly known behind his back as Yorgan with the Gorgon Organ (Gorgon being that of a mythical creature, one of which that if you look directly into its eyes; or for the purpose of this story, eye, you would turn to stone) was a simple and motor-vated man (pardon the pun).  Yorgan lived for his job and loved going to work every day.  Yorgan would get up early every morning, breakfast with his mother, with whom he lived, then went straight to the boat yard, where he worked, and would begin repairing motors.  At noon every day he would take out his harp and play for exactly fifteen minutes and then he would organize his deliveries of repaired motors.  Today Yorgan was to return the motor of the billionairess, Sara Lickensdeschlong.  Yorgan enjoyed trips to Sara’s boat; she would serve him tea, give him tours, accidentally spill wine all over his pants & then offer to soak them for him, she would then ask him to change lightbulbs around the boat while she held the ladder.  At this stage I should also tell you that Yorgan was a virgin; actually, Yorgan thought virgin only related to olive oil and Jesus’ Mum.  Sara on the other was a viciously dirty slut and wanted a crack at the Gorgan Organ.  She wanted today to be the day!  Yorgan arrived at 1pm sharp and brought the motor down to the boat.  Sara was awaiting his arrival.  “Hello Yorgan, I like your red shorts, I think I will forgo the red wine today and have some Midori instead.”  Yorgan was unaware as to what the color of his shorts and Sara’s drink had to do with each other, but he just smiled and went to jump over onto the boat with the motor.  “Oh no Yorgan, please hand me the motor, I have just had the deck waxed and I would not like to see you fall over and hurt your lovely self.”  Yorgan thought that Sara was nice to offer, but the motor was heavy.  “Are you sure Miss Sara, the motor is big and heavy, I do not want you to strain yourself.”  Sara just giggled.  “Oh don’t you worry about me handling big, heavy things Yorgan and I’ve never strained myself before.”  “But this is a very heavy motor Miss Sara.”  “I can take it Yorgan, if you’re happy to give it to me.”

Oh boy, I think this is a good time to take a break as this story is starting to sound a lot like every porn movie ever made, the difference is that the ending definitely will not play out like every porn movie ever made, so please read on knowing that Yorgan and Sara do not sail off into the sunset together.

Yorgan then reluctantly handed Sara the motor.  Sara took the motor and thought it to be rather light; Yorgan then let go of the motor.  The motor dropped straight down between the dock and the boat and as tragic as this was Yorgan knew that he could retrieve it for Sara, however the tragic thing was that Sara was still holding onto the motor.  Sara was yanked off the deck and was dragged straight down into the water; finally letting go and resurfacing.  Yorgan panicked as nobody was around to help and the only rope was tied to the boat and if he untied anything then the boat may squash Sara.  Yorgan had to think quickly, but thinking was not his strong suit.  “Help!  Help Yorgan, throw me something to pull me up.”  “But there is no rope Miss Sara and my arm is not long enough to reach you.”  Sara quickly thought of Yorgan’s penis (and then for a brief moment she remembered the time when Yorgan did not wear underpants to her boat yet she still got him to change lightbulbs.  “Drop your [email protected]!”  “Pardon Miss Sara.”  “Your [email protected] is huge, drop it down to me.”  “Beg your pardon Miss Sara, but do you mean my Pee Stick?”  “I don’t care what you call it Yorgan, just drop it down here so I can climb up.”  Yorgan quickly obliged not knowing what else to do and dropped his penis down toward Sara.  SPLASH!  “Holy sh!t.”  Sara cried as she realized how close to being knocked out she had just been and then grabbed hold of the enormous falice.  Yorgan started pulling Sara up but was having some trouble and then felt strangely…..well……..strange.  Yorgan felt a weird sensation flow through his body and then the most dramatic thing happened.  Yorgan’s Pee Stick stiffened up instantly and flung Miss Sara out of the water and straight up into the air.  Sara Lickensdeschlong flew for about twenty meters and landed on a car in the parking lot and was knocked unconscious.  Yorgan was stunned and scared and concerned and most of all for the first time in his life, he was horny.  It was not an emotion that he understood, but he felt it anyway and he was determined to find out what it meant.

Sara Lickensdeschlong wound up in the hospital with a shattered pelvis and would not be able to have sex for six months.

Yorgan became an international porn star and finally moved out of his Mothers house and into the Playboy mansion.

And as for the fact that Yorgan is also the name of a hand made quilt, well, isn’t it enough that a simple repair man sent a hot half naked woman flying through the air just by getting an erection, you want me to make up some crap about a quilt too, I don’t f*#kin think so.

Oh and by the way, in six months Sara tracked Yorgan down and they had donkey sex and then sailed off into the sunset.

So….I lied…….sue me [email protected]

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