Captain Mal Explains

And Mal Said.....................

Obviously, when first looking at this beautiful picture of incandescence, ones eye would naturally go straight to theintricate and masterful conglomerate of colors and shading placement.  A true appreciator of leadlight art would see that this piece glows with purity.  Others though may look at the picture and think, ‘hey, whyis that kid sucking on that dudes c*ck?’

Now, let me just stop you right there folks.  This in no way depicts pedophilia within the church.  This in no way depicts anything other than acceptance and true humanity.  The person on their knees is not a child.  The person is, for lack of more appropriate phrasing, suffering from dwarfism.  The reason however, for a‘person with dwarfism’ or a Little Person to be giving the holy father a personalized knob wax is a story of courage and goodness, not of profanity and pornography.

The story starts like this: Father Rudolf was raised by a good man, a kindly man, a homosexual man.  When Father Rudolph was but a boy, he would spend all of his time at the church with his Father doing good deeds among the parishioners.  Many different and wonderful people would come through the doors in need of assistance. Young Rudolph would watch his father help remove rusty piercings from prostitutes private parts, remove gerbils from homeless folks rectums, remove splinters out of ‘Little Persons’ penises (or is it peni, or is itonly peni when you have eight, no wait that’s octopi, so maybe it is just penises. By the way, if you had eight penises………..nevermind!) and most importantly he would polish or wax bald men’s heads.  Forsome reason, he always told Rudolph that it was important for a bald man to have a shiny bald head; f*#k knows why, but he never questioned anything. As the years grew on and Rudolph’s father figure got older, Rudolph started to take up the tradition of helping the pro’s and derelicts and politicians who would frequent the church.  Then one day Rudolph walkedinto the back room to get another spatula (for the waffle’s that get burnt onto the cleavage of Elenora Spank, the largest woman in Frigid county)and he came across his Father figure standing with his pants down, getting blown by a ‘Little Person’ with an exceptionally shiny head. His Father figure was calling to the Lord and stating something about his evil being sucked out of him. The ‘Little Person’ then finished and spat into a spittoon.  Rudolph was not seen so he grabbed the spatula and returned to assist a severely uncomfortable Elenora Spank.  Later that night he decided to confront his Father figure about this event.  Rudolph told of what he saw and awaited an answer.  “Well my boy, it’slike this, I am a Homosexual and I have an obsession with the shiny bald heads of Little People, I am also more of a sexual degenerate then any of the sorry [email protected]@rds that walk through those church doors.  I’m sorry to have disappointed you boy and ever since your parents died I have tried to change my ways and bea better role model for you so I could become a true Father, but I just couldn’t.’ He then sat and cried!  Rudolph then gazed upon his Father figure and did not see a broken man, he only saw his Father.  Rudolph then helped hisf ather to become a true Father of the church along side himself and then on amid November eve, Rudolph’s Father died; of seventeen sexually transmitted diseases all at once.  Most doctors just threw their hands inthe air and said, ‘F*#ked if I know how he died of all of them at once’. Father Rudolph then had a lead light picture erected in the atrium of the church that depicted him standing side by side with his father and had a Little Person added sucking his own d!ck to show his acceptance of his father and that love in this world comes in many shapes and sizes.

And as for those of you pedophiles out there, I hope when you die, the devil f*#ks you every afternoon with his rusty pitchfork.  So make sure that next time you think  you see a guy getting a blowjob, perhaps you should take a closer look, because it might not be what you first thought it to be; however, don’t get too close just in case it isand you get spunked!!!

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