Captain Mal Explains

And Mal Said.....................

Heidi, an entrant into the Veronicas look alike contest was in herbedroom trying to flatten her breasts to the size of the Veronicas.  Forambiance Heidi was sniffing scented candles, which also help with the dazedglare that the girls pull off so well.  Suddenly the rubber band beingused to strap lefty in broke and lefty flung across the room and smacked thecandle like it was a black sea man.  The candle broke free of its oppressiveholder and dropped to the carpet like a young female real estate agentattempting to close her first big deal with Mr. money bags.  Afterlighting the carpet, setting it ablaze Heidi ran to her fish bowl and scoopedout Mr. Whiskers the Carolina Gold Fish and flung the bowl water on thefire.  Heidi then quickly realized that Mr. Whiskers was dead and the bowlwater was actually hundred proof scotch poured in last night after a tokesession and the desire to inebriate Mr. Whiskers.  The fire blazed on andHeidi then panicked, luckily righty was still armed and ready to go.  Thefire was between her and the kitchen sink where the washing up hose was lyingin wait; eager to assist but unable to move due to only a low pressure dripflowing from its throat.  Heidi’s right breast strengthened andsnapped the rubber band flinging it full throttle threw the flames.  Theband hit the tap lever and knocked it in just the right place.  Watersquirted out and quashed the flames enough to allow Heidi to jump into thekitchen and grab the flailing hose.  She made quick work of the flames andthen quickly opened a window to allow the smoke to escape.  She hung outof the window for a brief moment to catch her breath and a man on a bike ridingby saw her and the girls and then sailed off of an embankment and crashed intoa pile of manure.

The firemen arrived shortly after as Mr. Poke from 10B called themafter arriving at Heidi’s door to help and then realizing quickly thatthe best place for him was anywhere that Heidi and her ample breasts were nototherwise Mrs Poke would certainly run him through with a blunt knifesharpener.  Mr. Poke knows his place in life and although he is miserablehe would rather stay with Mrs. Poke because she swallows; everything!

Fireman Woodchuck (who also happens to be a judge for the Veronicalook alike competition) smashed down the door and found Heidi doing hertoenails on the couch.  “Are you alright ma’am?” He asked while staring at lefty and righty with a little drool escaping fromthe corner of his mouth.

“I’m fine!” She said, but then after noticingFireman Woodchuck gawking at her, she handed him the glass of scotch that shesoaked up out of the carpet with a sponge and then said. “It’s Scotch, I know it tastes a little fishy, but I’m prettysure the taste of my vagina will cleanse your pallet.  But before we f#@k,can you answer me one question?  Which Veronica do I look like?”

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