Captain Mal Explains

And Mal Said.....................

It is obvious that until this evening,none of us have known a f#@king thing about a man named Mike Huckabee!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDUQW8LUMs8

After you watch this then you willunderstand more about the man and his love affair with the Earth’s onlysuperhero!!!!!

This photo was taken at a presidentialcampaign sing along where Mike ditched his wife Janet to accompany Chuck to theaffair.  Mike knows that Chuck Norris is as wholesome as fairy bread, yetas tough as Adamantium (the stuff Wolverine is made of, who is a fictionalsuperhero, unlike our Chuck).  But on that Misty September evening, Mikethrew down all inhibitions and stuck his tongue in Chuck Norris’s ear. Mike was quickly and rightfully roundhouse kicked in the head by Chuck Norris,who although touched by Mike’s advances was not going to give up thechance to round house kick one of those [email protected]

Mike has never been the same!!!!!!!!!

Mike is also a God fearing man and everychance he gets, he prays and does church s#!t on a Sunday!  Yet, deep downin Mike’s loins, there is a yearning and this yearning has a name –Chuckitis.

Chuckitis – is currently beingassessed among all professional organisations and will hopefully soon be addedto all Medical Dictionary’s.

It will have this description –Chuckitis – is the uncontrollable desire to love and be loved by ChuckNorris; side effects – the urge to round house people in the head and topunch Mexican babies in the face after you masturbate; there is no known cure!!

After Mike Huckabee lost out to JohnMcCain in the primaries he noticed that Chuck Norris did not return his callsanymore.  Mike was sad and alone and even the hard core sex that his wifeJanet would perform for him did nothing to quench his thirst for Chuck Norrissweat (or referred to in the Bible as Holy Water).  Mike needed help andthe only man in the world who could help him was not speaking to him.

Mike had to go on a quest for a cure.

Being that the entire country of Guatemalahave been in love with Chuck Norris ever since the brilliant movie ‘Firewalker’Mike decided to travel to the third world country to ask its inhabitants forhelp.

After six weeks of talking to people whoall believed wholeheartedly that Chuck Norris loved them and only them, Mikefinally found someone in a refrigerator box who admitted to him that he too hadbeen burnt by Chuckitis but had now cured himself of the infliction.

The man in the box was none other then LouisGosset Jnr, co star of Firewalker.

This is what Louis said – ‘duringfilming of Firewalker, I would go to my trailer at night and jerk off to aphoto of Chuck and myself three times a night.  One night Chuck came to mytrailer to watch Missing in Action and eat tofu pizza, but he found my jizzcovered picture and he quickly and rightfully round house kicked me to thehead.  He said that he appreciated the sentiment, but could not pass upthe chance to round house kick a [email protected]  I told him that I was not [email protected] but Ijust wanted to stick my big black dick in his ear and lick the sweat off of hisballs, but he just round house kicked me in the head again.’

Mike then asked eagerly how he broke theChuckitis fever.

‘It wasn’t easy Mr Huckabee, Igave up making movies, I moved down here and I did a whole heap of ass drugs(drugs specifically designed to be inserted into your anus) and I had sex witha donkey.’

So what was it that cured your Chuckitis?

‘Well, none of that; actually I justfell in love again.  I’m in love with Mr T.  He is my sunshineand I hope one day that I get to chew down on his Snickers.  I hope hiscome tastes like caramel’

It was at this stage that Mike Huckabeewas cured!!! He quickly realized that Louis Gossett Jnr was a very sick son ofa bitch and although he still had feelings for Chuck Norris, Mike believed thathe could live with this affliction and put up with all of the hot orgy’sthat his wife organized with all of the young parishioners from there local Baptistchurch.

Personally, I think this story is specialin many ways.  We as mere mortals need to realize that even Louis Lane had toeventually move on.  Sure, love Chuck Norris, but realize that his purposeon this Earth is much greater then one man or woman’s love. 

Chuck Norris is here to save the world,one round house kick at a time.

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