Captain Mal Explains

And Mal said........

This ticket machine is very obviously related to

the incidents on the trains in Japan.  Many men have been wrongfully accused

of feeling up the woman standing next to him when it was actually just his

octopus.

Apparently when the man says to a woman 'I'm sorry ma'am, it was my octopus'

for some reason she does not believe him even though he is carrying an

octopus at the time.  It is an excuse used frequently and the women are

getting sick of it.  The law now states that you must present your octopus

at the ticket machine to confirm that its tentacles have been appropriately

bound together for the duration of the trip, or you need to simply insert

your ticket to confirm that you do not have an octopus on your person.

Failure to present your octopus may lead to having your person frisked

thoroughly for an octopus or another sea creature with multiple tentacles.

So far however except for the cuttlefish incident on Valentines Day, all

friskings have come up negative.

Since implementation of this octopus checking point the following has been

the results recorded:

Two marriages - due to the women now knowing that the men being accused were

telling the truth

Six arrests - of men trying to undo the octobonds when the Japanese Woman's

Hockey team had boarded the train

And

Seventy-one complaints - from women complaining that they were not

complaining about the octopi in the first place and wish for the law to be

immediately abolished as they are lonely and can't afford the increasing

costs of long lasting heavy duty batteries.

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