Captain Mal Explains

And Mal said.......

Hi bloggers,

Time for a another poem?

Why the f*#k not I say!!

'There once was a man named Dunk

Who loved to get f*#ken drunk

When he'd go for a pee

he'd go to his bottle tree

And he'd p!ss all over the trunk

And Mal said.......

Sue woke up in a sudden and shockingly terrifying way.  She screamed and then yelled out in pain and realised that she was in a hospital bed.  "Where am I?"  She said in a daze as a nurse came running into the room.

"You are in hospital.  You were left on our door...

And Mal said........

"So Charlie, where should we go for our anniversary this year?"  Beatrice asked her distracted husband of thirty years.

Charlie was watching the early morning weather program that had a cute little blonde girl with perky boobs talking about humidity and high temperatures.  "Um, is that coming up?"

...

And Captain Mal said.........

Hello world, it's me Captain Mal, here to tell you a story about a girl I will call 'Lotsa'.  Now Lotsa lived with her Aunty Jude the heroin addicted, ruffi popping alcoholic and her boyfriend Tad, the bisexual shoe salesman.  She was young and full of whimsical dreams of a place far aw...

And Mal said.........

I have decided everyone to attempt to just write lyrics for this poignant picture of the Chuck.

It must be sung by whoever reads it in a country and western style; even slap your leg if you want!

"This is a song about a man.......

This is a ...

And Mal said.........

"I remember the day when i first thought up the character, Ballsout Starcrapper........ I still remember that Princess Leia bust that i won in the Captain Mal competition........ I also remember nailing it to the roof above my bed.

I'm an old man now though; I can barely remember the last time I wrote a story like those, ...

And Mal Said.........

A long time ago, but not longer then the last story, but still a while ago; and when i say a long time, i'm not really talking about years or centuries as is possibly implied by the opening of Star Wars, but i mean like maybe two months ago or maybe three months is closer to something that constitutes as a long t...

And Mal Said..............

This is a casting call for anyone interested in being a part of the new Mad Max movie that will be titled, 'Mad Max - The Beaver Oasis' - It will be set twenty years after MM3 and will see the dwindled sanity of Max who has befriended a wise cracking beaver named Muffy Diver (Yes, I said Muffy Diver, I...