Captain Mal Explains

And Mal Said.....................

“Come one, come all to the Sale of all sales!  Come one come all to the sale that you can just not pass up!!!

It’s the new ‘Beam Bed’ from FunBeds R’ Us.  Not only does the beam bed have a light beam emanating from underneath

It also has the most comfortable F*#king mattre...

And Mal Said.....................

Pigboy Rumbumpkin was named after his great Uncle Pigboy Johnson and had nothing to do with the fact that both of them resembled pigs in any way shape or form.  It was just a coincidence that Pigboy became a lover of Pigs.  Pigboy always said that even if his name was President of France Rumbumpkin, he probably w...

And Mal Said.....................

Jimbo ‘Googly’ Hicks was never one to really run with the crowd.  He lived a simple life with simple needs and very few wants.  Jimbo loved to read the bible and plant seeds.  Jimbo loved his mother and his dog Reggie.  Jimbo was a flea!!  First thing every morning Jimbo would slide off of hi...

And Mal Said.....................

Thank you for sending in this picture as Captain Mal has seen this before and it is time that society recognizes this painful affliction.  It is an affliction that dates back to the age of the Dinosaur.  It started when large dinosaurs would walk over volcano's and their crotch would...

And Mal Said.....................

Quite a while ago, not terribly far away…………..NUT WARS!

Ballsout Starcrapper was the toughest, most valiant Clone Trooper in the entire Republic, plus he has an IQ of about 45.

This never waned his resolve though; Ballsout was always prep...

And Mal Said.....................

Fellow Bloggers, back in 1812 the United States formed their own national personification, ‘Uncle Sam’, now I think that it is time for you all to join together and give this country a new lease on unification, if you so wish, you may use Capt Mal as the raw base for your persona. ‘CM’...

And Mal Said.....................

Chuck Bird – notorious gangster, devout Christian, overeater and most offensively; has turrets.

‘Good morning Chuck’ I would say as he left his apartment and wandered almost aimlessly down the hall to the stairs that led to the back garage where his soft top Audi awaited.

‘Good f*#kin’...

And Mal Said.....................

Hey Bloggers, since I was so freakin’ philosophical with the last picture I have decided to dedicate this next one to my Father.

He would have loved this sh!t:

“There once was a Groper from Stog

Its face had the shape of a dog