Captain Mal Explains

So, where has Captain Mal beenfor 2 years, 2 months & 13 days?

{Good question reader...you arevery perceptive and must be an avid Capt Mal fan, thank you and you willreceive your new Capt Mal Showbag in the mail: contents include a sweet potato,a bag of mixed nuts, two cotton balls & a red faxed stamp...oh a...

'Sensible Shoes Uncle Neville'............

is all I said to him as he drove out of our lives 6 years ago.  His question was a simple one 'What gave you the edge when you out ran that bear last winter Capt Mal'? 'Just make sure you have sensible shoes' I said and he was gone.  At Christmas he came back and guess w...

And Mal said......

Hmmmmm i'm not sure what to start off with now, since blogging is now a proposed Olympic event.  I think that we should start a movement to change the word blogging to SPACEROCKING.  Think about it, BLOG....it just sounds so f*#king ridiculous.  But SPACEROCKING, now that sounds freakin' f*#king cool.  So...

And Mal said........

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..................Leia in Slave Girl Outfit!!!!!!!!!

Hi Bloggers........um........i'm going to stop calling you bloggers now, it just sounds so f*#king weird.  It sounds like i'm referring to you as some kind of athletic excreter's...

And Mal said.......

Dear dude selling van,

Hi, my name is Capt Mal; I have other alias', but for legal reasons, I can't reveal them all in this blog (I'm wanted for Chimpanzee wrestling & for stealing a Moose penis, but they are both really f*#ked up stories) anyway, I like your style and I just wanted to put your ad up to show ...

And Mal said..........

Hello to each and every one of you out there.  I just wanted to let you know that I see you!

As youk now from the disclaimer notice on the home page of Capt Mal Explains, I like to ride in trains and not just because of my chicken sexer delivery boy job, I am what I like to call a people watcher.

I see y...

And Mal said........

It has finally come to the forefront of this blog and is now unavoidable to speak of; The Slap Police are here!!!!!

It has been a belief of mine that this world needs an authority in the middle of all other authorities.  

A brand of police who have no restrictions within their...

And Mal said.......

I would love to come up with some f*#king wonderful story about this Mofu, but to be honest G.C. is just too f*#king cool to dis.

I personally would rather dis Chuck Norris and we all know that if you dis Chuck Norris, even if he never hears you, he will find out and at some random time in the future you will...